HOW TO DO IT
If you and your child don't get along, you might be able to heal that problem. If you don't feel like you love your child, you can probably fix that. If your child has asthma, you might be able to help.
These problems might be linked to bonding issues.
The way to fix things, is to have the experience of having your baby, the way you wanted it--without the things that went wrong such as a death in the family, or marital problems, or your baby being taken away and whisked to the Intensive Care Unit, or your not seeing your baby for 10 hours.
There is a systematic way to make that happen. Read below.
These problems might be linked to bonding issues.
The way to fix things, is to have the experience of having your baby, the way you wanted it--without the things that went wrong such as a death in the family, or marital problems, or your baby being taken away and whisked to the Intensive Care Unit, or your not seeing your baby for 10 hours.
There is a systematic way to make that happen. Read below.
FIND THE NBE There is usually a Non- Bonding Event that interrupted bonding.
|
HEAL THE NBEIf the trauma is already healed, good.
If it's not, it needs to be healed. Get help to heal it: do EMDR, get counseling, hypnosis, pray, do something. When it's healed, you are ready to experience the child's birth in a new way. |
A NEW BIRTH
|
SUBCONSCIOUS
|
STORY 1
A woman was sad about her son, who was seven. Everyone but she loved him. He was bright, cute, with an endearing personality. What happened around his birth? Her father died. She was in great mourning when she was pregnant.
She meditated to clear out any remaining sorrow about her father. That took just a few minutes because she had already done most of the grieving. Then she imagined the pregnancy and birth, the delivery, the few days afterwards, and right up to the present. That took about 20 minutes. She cried when she did this.
She came out of this light, meditative state feeling, "That's how it should have been." She wrote us a letter six months later, saying that she and her son were now like she figured a mother and son should have been. She wrote seven years later, "My life was changed by this. My son and I have a new life. And it stuck."
STORY 2
This had a little nine year old boy who was asthmatic. What happened during his birth? She wasn't in good shape because she had a baby die of Sudden Infant Death 6 months before she got pregnant.
She thought a lot about her first baby. She drew pictures; she made a memorial in her garden. She finished grieving. A week later, she drew pictures about how she wished it had happened without grieving. She put those pictures on the refrigerator and kept those new memories in her mind and heart.
She wrote us when she watched her son play soccer, for the first time in his life! He no longer had breathing problems.
STORY 3
This mother was hooked on speed when she was pregnant with her daughter. She and her 12 year old daughter were always fighting and her daughter began to hit her. The mother was clean and sober when she tried to heal the bonding problem. She did it in Narcotics Anonymous.
First she used her sponsor to clean up the original pregnancy and birth, talking to the sponsor about how terrible it was. Then she apologized to her daughter and told her in detail how she wished it had been.
That did it. From that day on they both felt love for one another. She became physically affectionate.
A woman was sad about her son, who was seven. Everyone but she loved him. He was bright, cute, with an endearing personality. What happened around his birth? Her father died. She was in great mourning when she was pregnant.
She meditated to clear out any remaining sorrow about her father. That took just a few minutes because she had already done most of the grieving. Then she imagined the pregnancy and birth, the delivery, the few days afterwards, and right up to the present. That took about 20 minutes. She cried when she did this.
She came out of this light, meditative state feeling, "That's how it should have been." She wrote us a letter six months later, saying that she and her son were now like she figured a mother and son should have been. She wrote seven years later, "My life was changed by this. My son and I have a new life. And it stuck."
STORY 2
This had a little nine year old boy who was asthmatic. What happened during his birth? She wasn't in good shape because she had a baby die of Sudden Infant Death 6 months before she got pregnant.
She thought a lot about her first baby. She drew pictures; she made a memorial in her garden. She finished grieving. A week later, she drew pictures about how she wished it had happened without grieving. She put those pictures on the refrigerator and kept those new memories in her mind and heart.
She wrote us when she watched her son play soccer, for the first time in his life! He no longer had breathing problems.
STORY 3
This mother was hooked on speed when she was pregnant with her daughter. She and her 12 year old daughter were always fighting and her daughter began to hit her. The mother was clean and sober when she tried to heal the bonding problem. She did it in Narcotics Anonymous.
First she used her sponsor to clean up the original pregnancy and birth, talking to the sponsor about how terrible it was. Then she apologized to her daughter and told her in detail how she wished it had been.
That did it. From that day on they both felt love for one another. She became physically affectionate.